The Aftermath
by ellsbells10
Summary: Lux feels guilty when Baze crashes Cate and Ryan's wedding. But she also feels angry that her chance at being a family with them is ruined. Everyone struggles to move on, but emotions are running high
1. Because of Me

Lux watched in horror as Baze threw open the door of the church. Everyone in the church looked up in surprise. The wedding was almost over.

Wedding guests began whispering loudly when they saw Baze standing in the entrance wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Not only was he late, but he also wasn't dressed appropriately for a wedding.

Lux ignored the chatter, her eyes focused on her mother. Cate met Baze's gaze for a split second. Lux thought she detected a hint of sadness and regret in her mother's expression, but Cate recovered quickly.

Cate turned back to Ryan, who looked stunned, and kissed him hard, almost as if to prove she'd married the right guy. The passionate kiss was a declaration to everyone that Cate did love Ryan. That her baby daddy crashing the wedding didn't mean anything.

Lux frowned slightly and focused her attention on the back of the church. Baze's expression was pained. He left as suddenly as he came, the door swinging shut behind him.

Lux felt a mixture of emotions as she watched the scene unfold, unable to do anything to stop it, but mostly she felt the burden of responsibility.

It was Lux who had encouraged Baze to tell Cate how he felt. When Cate was having doubts about marrying Ryan, it was Lux who reassured her. This was all her fault, Lux knew.

Now Cate would second-guess her decision and Baze's heart had just been shattered into tiny pieces because of her, Lux thought miserably.

Even knowing she'd caused her parents so much pain, Lux was angry because she'd lost her chance at being a family with Baze and Cate. She knew it was selfish to be angry, but she couldn't help the way she felt.

Lux had been without a family until she was sixteen. Now her family was torn apart forever. Because Baze hadn't stepped up to the plate until it was too late.

"Lux," Alice hissed.

Alice's voice dragged Lux back from her thoughts. Back to reality.

Lux realized it was time to leave. Cate and Ryan were waiting for her. She was supposed to leave behind them. She was Cate's maid of honor, Lux thought ruefully. It had been her job to make sure everything went smoothly and she'd failed miserably.

Lux followed closely behind Cate and Ryan. She glanced around, looking for Baze's Jeep. It was gone. Her dad was long gone.

Alice ushered Lux into a waiting limo.

"If you and your dimples know something, spill," Alice said.

Lux feigned innocence. She pulled her cell phone out and glanced at the display. Baze hadn't called her or texted her.

Lux texted him _r u ok?_

Alice narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She grabbed Lux's phone right out of the teenager's hands.

"Hey!" Lux protested. She tried to take her phone from Alice, but Alice held it out of reach.

Alice scrolled through Lux's text messages and saw the texts Lux had sent Baze earlier that day. She'd begged him to tell Cate how he felt. She'd told him Cate was having doubts.

Alice frowned. She wanted Cate and Ryan to be happy for two reasons. First of all, Cate was her best friend and Ryan was a great guy. Second of all, she was Cate's boss and she knew Morning Madness with Cate and Ryan was doomed if this marriage ended badly.

Lux blushed as Alice read the texts. She knew what Alice must be thinking. What kind of daughter single-handedly ruins her mother's wedding?

"I know. This is all my fault," Lux said sadly.

Alice couldn't believe Lux had played a role in what had just happened. She studied Lux. Her expression was pained. The teenager looked very much like Cate did when she was in crisis mode.

"Cate would have found some way to screw this up with or without your help," Alice said. She returned the cell phone to Lux.

"That's true. I know Cate and she can't let herself be happy," Laverne chimed in, halfway through a bottle of champagne.

Lux checked her phone anxiously. She frowned when she saw that Baze had yet to respond.

Lux grabbed another bottle of champagne from the bar and poured herself a glass. She had a feeling she was going to need a drink to get through the wedding reception.

When the limo pulled to a stop, Lux got out. She glanced around, looking for somewhere she could get some privacy to call her dad. She saw a quiet side street and headed toward it, but Alice grabbed her arm.

"The reception's this way," Alice said, pulling Lux toward the hotel. Alice didn't release Lux until they were at their assigned table.

Lux reluctantly took her assigned seat beside Cate. She watched Cate make conversation with people, pretending like everything was OK.

Lux knew Cate well enough by now to know that she wasn't OK. Cate forced herself to smile as she greeted guests, but her eyes gave her away. Cate's usually warm brown eyes were cold and empty.

Ryan looked genuinely happy. He smiled warmly at Lux and put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

Lux wondered what Cate had told him. How she'd explained what had happened.

Lux checked her cell phone again. Still no response. She hastily typed another text to Baze. _R u ok? If u don't answer, I'm coming_.

Cate watched Lux typing on her cell phone and instantly knew her daughter was talking to Baze.

The fury that had been building up inside Cate all day boiled over. Baze had rejected her. Again.

The fact that she'd even wanted him to admit he had feelings for her had made Cate doubt herself. Doubt her feelings for Ryan.

Then, in case putting the doubt in her mind in the first place wasn't enough to ruin her wedding day, Baze had crashed the wedding. Cate could only imagine what their guests had thought when Baze threw open the door dressed like a frat boy. And, Cate had spent the first several minutes after her wedding trying to convince the groom that nothing was going on between her and Baze. Now Cate's maid of honor was texting Baze.

Cate sat down beside Lux. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Lux said, but she continued to dart glances at her cell phone screen.

"Are you talking to Baze?" Cate asked.

"No," Lux replied. She was texting him, but he wasn't texting her back so technically they weren't talking.

Cate narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Before she could press the issue, Ryan slipped into his seat on the other side of Cate and reached for her hand.

Cate forced herself to smile, but continued to watch her daughter. Lux's phone lit up and she glanced down at the screen. The teenager breathed a sigh of relief.

Lux only felt the slightest bit better when she saw Baze's response. _No! Stay with Cate! See u later_.

Baze hadn't old her he was OK. Because he wasn't, Lux knew. How could he possibly be OK after losing the love of his life?

Lux wanted to go to her dad. She knew he would need someone. But she felt Cate's gaze on her and knew there was no way Cate would let her leave.

The reception dragged on for what seemed like forever. Ryan's best man made a toast. "I wish you all the happiness in the world," he said, raising his champagne glass.

Lux wanted to scream. How could Cate be happy when she'd married the wrong guy? This was all so wrong.

Lux didn't know how much longer she could take this. Just when she felt like the reception would never end, Cate and Ryan thanked everyone for coming.

Ryan hugged Lux before getting in the car.

Cate hadn't had ten seconds alone with Lux since the wedding. "Will you be OK?"

"Yeah." Lux forced herself to smile.

Cate really didn't want to leave Lux. Not right now. Not like this. Not with Baze. "If you need anything, just call."

Lux nodded.

Cate hugged her daughter close, rubbing her back gently, before getting in the car with her new husband.

"Have fun in Hawaii!" Lux said a little too brightly.

"We will," Ryan replied, smiling warmly.

As soon as they left, Lux headed for Baze's.


	2. Never Too Late

Baze stood rooted to the spot in the back of the church. He watched as Cate kissed her…husband and knew he was too late.

Too late to stop the wedding. Too late to tell Cate how he felt. Too late to be a family with Cate and Lux.

Baze felt his daughter's gaze on him, but his eyes were focused on Cate. As much as it hurt him to watch her with Ryan, he couldn't look away.

Baze tore his gaze from Cate. He knew all eyes were on him as he shuffled toward the door.

What had he done? Math was right. He shouldn't have done anything. Now everything would be awkward with Cate and Ryan. How was he going to be part of Lux's life now?

Baze had to get out of there. He wanted to be anywhere else but there. He got in his Jeep and drove to his loft on autopilot.

He couldn't think straight. Everything was so messed up. How had he managed to make such a mess out of everything?

"Dude, what happened to you?" Jaime asked when Baze walked through the door of Open Bar. Baze looked like a wreck.

Baze shook his head. "Don't ask." He sat down on a barstool in front of Jaime.

Jaime poured Baze a shot. "You look like you lost your best friend."

"Worse," Baze muttered. He quickly downed the shot. "I lost Cate."

"You never had her. She's with Ryan. She's always been with Ryan," Jaime pointed out. "You've been pining over her for months. You didn't even seal the deal with Trina. You're almost as bad as Math."

"I could've had her," Baze said softly. He raked a hand through his tousled brown hair. "She came here last night to ask if I had feelings for her."

Jaime raised his eyebrows. "The night before her wedding?"

Baze nodded. "If I'd just told her the truth…" He couldn't finish the sentence. Thinking of what could have been made it even worse to know that he would never have a chance with Cate now.

Jaime made a face. "Why didn't you?"

"Math, he told me unless I could give her everything Ryan could, I shouldn't say anything," Baze mumbled.

"Ryan was about to marry her. Did Math expect you to propose before your first date?" Jaime snickered.

Baze shrugged helplessly. "That's what I get for taking relationship advice from a guy who hasn't had a date in months."

"More like years," Jaime added.

Baze buried his head in his hands. He'd never felt like this before in his life. His heart literally hurt. It hurt worse than any physical pain. He didn't know how to make it better. He didn't know if he ever would feel better.

* * *

"Lux!" Baze said, grinning when his daughter entered Open Bar.

Lux's brow wrinkled in confusion. She'd been expecting Baze to be overwrought. "Hey." She smiled slightly. "Are you OK?"

"I'm better than OK! I'm great!" Baze replied, slurring slightly.

Lux nodded slowly, her eyes zeroing in on the shot glass and half empty bottle of whiskey in front of her dad.

"We're good. It's all good," Jaime said. He poured another shot for himself and one for Baze.

Lux bit her lip. Her dad wasn't great. And it definitely wasn't all good. Because of her.

Baze had just lost the love of his life. Lux wanted to be there for him, but there was nothing she could do for him now. He wasn't in any condition to talk about what happened.

Lux needed to talk to someone. Everything had blown up in her face and she didn't know what to do next.

Lux went to Cate's house. She found the spare keys for Cate's Toyota Prius in a drawer in the kitchen. She hesitated, feeling a pang of guilt for betraying Cate's trust. Cate would never know Lux borrowed her car, Lux assured herself.

Lux was extraordinarily careful during the long drive to see her best friend. She stayed under the speed limit the whole time even though there was no traffic once she got out of the city limits. Tasha's foster family lived out in the boonies.

"Lux!" Tasha said happily, hugging her friend. "What are you doing here?" Tasha took in Lux's appearance and frowned. "And why are you dressed like that?"

Lux glanced down. She was still wearing the pink dress Cate had chosen for her, but she was barefoot because the high heels had hurt her feet. She'd left in such a hurry she hadn't changed. "Cate's wedding."

Tasha frowned. She'd forgotten the wedding was that day. Lux looked upset. "What happened?"

Lux shook her head, not even knowing where to begin. She started at the beginning and told Tasha what had happened.

Tasha smirked. "I always thought that if we got adopted, all the drama would go away and everything would be perfect. I guess I thought wrong."

"Tell me about it. I don't know what to do. I just want them both to be happy, you know?" Lux said.

"Do you think Ryan can make Cate happy?" Tasha asked.

"I don't know," Lux said truthfully. "Ryan's a great guy. Ryan, he'll try to make Cate happy. But Baze is…Baze. I think Cate's always wanted him."

"You don't always want what's best for you," Tasha said. "Look at me. I want to be with my mom and she's never been there for me. She can't be what's best for me."

"She's your mom," Lux said sympathetically.

"Yeah, and the only thing she's ever done is disappoint me. Maybe I'm better off without her," Tasha said. "Even though I want her."

Lux sucked in her breath. "And maybe Cate's better off with Ryan. Even though part of her wants Baze."

"I'm sorry. I know you wanted them to be together," Tasha said knowingly.

"It was stupid. It was a childish fantasy," Lux said, her tone defeated. A childish fantasy she'd desperately wanted to come true, Lux thought sadly.

"At least you have a mom and a dad. That's something. Even if they're not together," Tasha pointed out.

"Baze is gonna hate me when he finds out what I did. That I threw him under the bus," Lux said.

"Most foster parents kick you out the first time you mess up. You've been arrested twice. Gavin trashed Baze's bar." Tasha shook her head. "If they haven't kicked you out yet, I don't think there's anything you can do that will make them hate you."

"You didn't see his face when he saw Cate kiss Ryan," Lux said. "And it's all my fault. I messed everything up."

"Baze loves you. Unconditionally," Tasha said confidently.

"Thanks, Tash." Lux hugged her best friend goodbye before getting back in the car to go home.

Lux was halfway home when the yellow light glowed, indicating she was almost out of gas. "Crap," Lux muttered. She didn't know where she was, but she was fairly certain there wasn't a gas station within miles. She was out in the boonies over an hour away from Portland.

Lux didn't know how far Cate's car would run on empty. She didn't know what to do. She kept driving, hoping that she would make it to the city. After about seventeen minutes, all of the emergency lights lit up and the car stopped.

Lux felt tears sting her eyes. She grabbed her cell phone and dialed Baze.

Baze was in the middle of a game of beer pong. He glanced at the caller ID on his cell phone and answered it as soon as he saw it was Lux.

"Baze?"

Baze could tell from her voice she was crying. "What's wrong?" He asked urgently.

"I took Cate's car. It was stupid. I just, I wanted to talk to Tasha. The car ran out of gas," Lux managed tearfully.

"Where are you?" Baze asked.

"I don't know. I'm in the middle of nowhere!" Lux cried out.

"I'm on my way," Baze said. He glanced around the bar. "Is anyone in here sober?"

"Stone cold sober, but not for long."

Baze looked up. A pretty blonde smiled at him.

"OK. I need you to drive me to pick my kid up," Baze said desperately.

The blonde raised her eyebrows. "You have a kid?"

"Yeah," Baze replied. "This is my bar. If you drive me, you can drink free for the rest of the night."

The blonde thought for a moment. "Make that the rest of the week and you got yourself a deal."

"Sure," Baze said. He would have given her just about anything she asked for. He had to get to Lux.

The blonde flashed a perfect smile at him again. "Where's your car?"

"Can you drive a stick?" Baze asked.

"So I've been told." The blonde smirked.

Baze unlocked his Jeep and held the door open for her before sliding into the passenger seat.

"I'm Andi. By the way," the blonde said as she started the Jeep.

"Baze," Baze said. He gave her directions.

"Starship! I love them," Andi said as she turned the volume on the stereo up.

Baze looked up, surprised. Andi was young. Young enough that he doubted she was walking when Starship was popular. "How old are you?"

Andi rolled her eyes. "Older than I look. How old are you?"

"Thirty-two," Baze replied.

"It's just, you don't exactly look like the type of guy who has a kid," Andi said.

Baze frowned. "Yeah, and what does that type look like?"

"For starters, not drunk at midnight," Andi replied.

Baze sighed. She was right. He shouldn't be drunk. He hadn't even noticed that Lux left because he was so drunk and now she was stranded in the middle of nowhere.

They'd been driving for a little over half an hour when Baze instructed Andi to turn off the main road. Andi glanced around. "Where the hell are we?"

"The middle of nowhere," Baze muttered.

"Are you a serial killer?" Andi asked.

"Nah. Are you scared?" Baze asked, smiling slightly.

"I don't scare easily," Andi replied.

Baze kept his eyes peeled for Cate's car. "She's over there," he said, pointing when he finally spotted it.

Andi flipped a U-turn and pulled to a stop behind the Toyota Prius. Baze hurried over to the car.

"Hey," Lux said, her voice small. "Did you bring gas?"

Baze shook his head. "I don't want you driving without a license. I'll have Jaime or Math bring me back to get it in the morning."

"Baze?" Lux said nervously.

"Yeah?" Baze said.

"I'm sorry," Lux said. She was sorry for more than just taking Cate's car, but she didn't know what to say to Baze about everything else. She didn't know how to make it right. If she even could make it right.

"I know." Baze ruffled her hair affectionately. "Let's go home."

Lux followed Baze to his Jeep. She raised her eyebrows when she saw Andi. "Who's this?"

"That would be the only sober person in my bar when you called," Baze replied.

"Also known as Andi," Andi muttered.

Lux slid in next to Andi and Baze climbed in beside Lux.

"How does a thirty-two year old have a sixteen-year old kid?" Andi wondered.

"You know, the normal way," Baze mumbled.

"Where's her mom?" Andi asked curiously.

Lux winced.

"On her honeymoon," Baze muttered.

Lux's face fell as she watched the emotions play across Baze's face. She'd never seen him like this before. There was no word to describe how much pain he was in.

Lux reached for Baze's hand subconsciously. Baze smiled slightly when he felt his daughter's hand in his own. Lux returned the smile.

"Thanks for driving," Baze said when they returned to the bar.

"It's gonna cost you. I'm gonna drink you out of house and home," Andi said lightly.

Baze grinned. "I doubt that. You're teeny tiny. How much can you drink?"

"I can drink you under the table," Andi teased.

"Oh yeah?" Baze said.

Andi nodded. "Do a shot with me."

Baze moved behind the bar. "What do you want?"

"Sex on the beach." Andi smiled seductively.

Baze mixed the shots. Several shots later, they ended up in Baze's bed together.


	3. More Than Friends

Andi stirred. She frowned at the ringing sound coming from Baze's nightstand. Who called someone at 7:34 am?

Andi groaned. Her head ached. She'd expected the hangover after doing shots with Baze, but she'd also planned on sleeping the worst of it off. The ringing was making the pain in Andi's head doubly bad.

Andi nudged Baze, but he didn't move. She grabbed his cell phone. "Hello?" She said groggily.

"Who is this?" A shrill voice asked.

"Andi. Who is this?" Andi said, massaging her throbbing temples.

Baze's eyes fluttered open when he heard Andi's voice. He propped himself up.

"This is Cate. Where's Baze?"

Baze grimaced. He could hear Cate loud and clear even though his cell wasn't on speaker phone mode. He grabbed his phone from Andi and hastily went into the living room so he could have some privacy. "Cate? Hi."

"Who is Andi?" Cate demanded without bothering to say hello.

"She's a…friend," Baze mumbled. He thought he detected a hint of jealousy in Cate's tone, but maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part.

"A friend who happened to be in your bed?" Cate said knowingly. "You know what? That's not the point."

"What is the point?" Baze asked wearily.

"I got an interesting call from the police. Do you have any idea why my car is on the side of the road in Woodburn?" Cate asked.

"Yes," Baze muttered. "Lux, she took your car to-"

"What? Why was she driving without a license?" Cate asked angrily.

"She wanted to see Tasha and she ran out of gas," Baze replied.

"She's staying with you. You're supposed to be making sure she stays out of trouble," Cate said, her tone accusatory.

"I know. I'm sorry. I picked her up. And I'm gonna go get your car," Baze said.

Cate sighed. "Were you even gonna tell me?"

"Yes, of course," Baze said, his voice laced with hurt. He thought he'd finally earned Cate's trust. He hoped they weren't back to square one because of his lapse in judgment. "I just, I didn't want to bug you while you're on your honeymoon."

"My wedding is fair game, but the honeymoon is off limits?" Cate said sarcastically.

Baze swallowed a lump in the back of his throat. He'd known the subject would come up eventually, but he'd been hoping to delay the inevitable. He didn't know what to say to her.

He was torn. Part of him felt like he may as well go ahead and tell Cate how he felt. He'd already crashed the wedding. The other part of him felt like telling Cate would only make things more difficult for her and that was the last thing he wanted to do. She was married to Ryan now and there wasn't anything Baze could do about it. The bottom line was he'd been too late.

"I'm sorry, Cate," Baze said softly.

"For what?" Cate asked.

"I didn't want to ruin anything for you. I shouldn't have shown up at the wedding," Baze said.

"Then why did you?" Cate cried out.

"I just, I wanted to tell you how I felt," Baze mumbled. He knew Cate wouldn't believe anything other than the truth.

"I went to your place and asked you how you felt," Cate said, her tone accusatory.

Baze raked a hand through his brown hair. "I know! I'm sorry. OK? I just, I want you to be happy and if Ryan makes you happy…you should be with him, Cate." He struggled to keep his voice even.

Cate nodded slowly. She realized Baze couldn't see her and said, "OK."

Baze buried his head in his hands. Every word Cate said felt like a dagger to his heart. He didn't know if he'd be able to talk to her every day, see her every day knowing he'd blown his chance with her. He didn't know if he could be just friends with her. Not when he was in love with her.

Andi emerged from Baze's bedroom. She smiled timidly. "I shouldn't have answered your phone. It woke me up and my head was killing me and I just, I wasn't thinking. I hope I didn't make a bad situation worse."

Baze smiled slightly. "It's not your fault. And I don't think the situation could get much worse."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Andi asked.

"No." Baze shook his head.

Andi understood. She smiled sympathetically. "You look like you could use a drink. I know I could."

Baze looked up in surprise. "It's eight in the morning," he pointed out.

"Bloody Mary?" Andi said, undeterred. She began rummaging through Baze's cupboards looking for the ingredients.

Baze took the ingredients from his liquor cabinet and began mixing the drink. "I didn't think you'd feel like drinking again after last night." He smirked. She'd been trashed. She'd probably consumed her weight in alcohol.

"A hangover is the body craving alcohol," Andi said. "I'm just giving my body what it wants." She wrapped her arms around Baze. "And a Bloody Mary isn't the only thing it wants."

Baze kissed Andi. He tasted the Bloody Mary. It tasted good. Andi tasted good. He deepened the kiss, lifting her up so she was sitting on the counter top straddling him.

"Oh my gosh!" Both Baze and Andi froze when they heard Lux.

"I'm sorry," Lux stammered, retreating to her makeshift bedroom.

Baze groaned. He couldn't seem to do anything right lately. Not with Cate. Not with his kid.

"You had her when you were sixteen. It's not like she doesn't know you're having sex," Andi pointed out.

Baze grimaced. "I want her to see me differently. To see that I'm not the same guy I was in high school," he explained.

"She sees you as her dad," Andi said.

"That's just it. I don't think she does. Cate gave her up for adoption. It's a long story, but she just came back into our lives. She sees me as her friend," Baze explained, his voice laced with hurt.

Andi instinctively reached for Baze's hand. "I'm sure that's not true."

Baze looked unconvinced.

"Who is the first person you call when you need help?" Andi asked.

Baze stared at her blankly.

"Your parents. You know that they'll always be there for you no matter what. Even if you're in jail and need bail money," Andi said, smiling slightly as she remembered one of the predicaments she'd gotten herself into.

Baze raised his eyebrows. "What did you get arrested for?"

Andi blushed slightly. "The point is Lux called you when she ran out of gas. Because she knew you'd be there for her. You're her dad and she knew you'd do whatever it took to help her. Even if it meant bribing me with free alcohol."


	4. No Matter What

"I'm beginning to feel like your chauffer," Andi said lightly as she turned Baze's Jeep on.

Lux smirked. "Really? I'd think you'd feel more like a-"

"Lux," Baze warned. "Andi's helping us."

Lux rolled her eyes. "She's helping you anyway."

Baze stared at Lux. "She drove me to pick you up when you ran out of gas. Now she's driving us to get Cate's car."

Lux crossed her arms in front of her chest defiantly and stared straight ahead.

Baze hadn't been planning on asking Andi to drive them, but Jaime was passed out on the couch and Math was nowhere to be found. Now he regretted asking her. The tension in the Jeep was palpable.

The silence was driving Andi crazy. She turned the volume on the stereo up. Baze's Starship CD was still playing. She smiled when she heard _Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now_, one of her favorite songs, and started singing along quietly.

Lux's expression was dangerous as she reached over and turned the stereo off in one swift movement. That was their song. The song Cate, Baze and Lux had sung on their family road trip. She didn't want Andi tainting it.

Andi opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when she saw Lux's expression. They drove the rest of the way in awkward silence.

Baze filled Cate's Prius with gas. Lux automatically headed for the passenger seat, but Baze stopped her. "I thought you could drive."

Lux smiled and sat down in the drivers' seat.

"Pay attention. Not just to the road, but to your car. Your fuel level," Baze said pointedly as Lux pulled onto the road behind Andi.

"You're one to talk. You hit a truck filled with chickens," Lux retorted, smirking slightly.

"Touché," Baze said. "Seriously though, what would you do if this happened again?"

"Call you," Lux said immediately without thinking.

Baze smiled slightly. Maybe Andi was right. Maybe Lux had finally learned how to be the kid and let him take care of her. He liked the thought of Lux knowing he would take care of her. He knew he would do anything for her.

"If you couldn't get a hold of me?" Baze pressed, wanting to make sure Lux was prepared next time she had car trouble.

Lux shrugged helplessly. "Uh, call triple A?"

Baze laughed. "We don't have triple A. You'd just call the number on your insurance card."

"Thanks, Baze," Lux said softly.

Baze knew Lux was thanking him for more than just the helpful hints he was throwing her way. He grinned. "Any time, Kiddo."

Lux hesitated before asking the question that had been driving her crazy. She knew the question would make Baze relive painful moments and she hated that, but she also knew she couldn't bear to not know what had happened. Why she'd lost her chance at being a family with Cate and Baze. Why her childhood fantasy had been completely and utterly destroyed. "What happened yesterday? I mean, one minute you have feelings for Cate but won't tell her and the next you're crashing her wedding."

Baze's grin vanished. He sucked in his breath. "I shouldn't have shown up at the wedding."

Lux cast a sidelong glance at Baze. She sighed when she saw his pained expression. "Baze, Cate has feelings for you, too."

"She's married to Ryan," Baze said dully.

Lux bit her lip. She remembered her conversation with Tasha and frowned. She didn't know what the right thing to do was. It didn't seem like there was a right thing to do in this situation. No matter what Lux did, someone she loved would get hurt.

"Yeah, but she wouldn't have married him if she knew how you felt," Lux said desperately.

"You can't know that," Baze said. Even as the words left his mouth, he wondered if his daughter was right. He'd never know for sure now, he realized.

Baze knew his feelings must have made a difference to Cate. Otherwise why would she have come to talk to him the night before her wedding? If he'd just been honest the night before-no, Baze stopped himself. The what-ifs would drive him crazy. Cate was married now and there was nothing he could do to change that.

"Yes, I do!" Lux cried out without thinking. She swallowed a lump in the back of her throat. As much as she didn't want Baze to know that she'd been the one who convinced Cate to marry Ryan, she knew she had to tell him. "Cate, she wouldn't talk to anyone. She didn't know what to do." Lux shook her head. "I didn't think you were going to tell her how you felt. Ryan, he was crying because he knew I wanted you and Cate to be together. He even told me they could postpone the wedding if I wanted. I knew how much pain I'd caused him and Cate. And I was still gonna ask them to postpone the wedding…" Lux broke off on the verge of tears. She felt like the most selfish person in the world. She'd hurt everyone she loved and she was about to deliver a final blow to her dad.

Baze stared at Lux. Knowing he could have had Cate made it even worse to know he'd lost her. He felt as though he'd just had the wind knocked out of him.

Lux took a deep breath before continuing, "And then I saw Cate. Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. But Cate, she looked completely miserable. I knew it was all my fault and I just, I wanted to make it right. I told her she should marry Ryan." Lux struggled to keep her voice even.

Baze looked down. It wasn't just Cate who had chosen Ryan. It was his own kid, too. He covered his mouth with his hand.

Lux's eyes filled with tears as she watched Baze's reaction. What had she done? How could she cause someone she loved so much pain and heartache? Was she a horrible person? "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Baze buried his head in his hands. Lux bit her lip. Her dad couldn't even stand to look at her. She couldn't help but wonder if Cate and Baze would be better off without her in their lives. "Baze? I'll understand if you can never forgive me," she managed.

Baze finally met Lux's gaze, his sparkling blue eyes piercing hers. "There isn't anything you could do ever that I wouldn't forgive you for. I love you." He said the words that were still so hard for him to say even though he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved Lux and Cate.


	5. I'm Not OK

"Are you OK?" Bug asked gently. Lux had just filled him in on everything he'd missed. It was a lot to take in. He could tell she still hadn't come to terms with all that had happened.

Lux rested her head on Bug's shoulder and leaned in. He had his arms wrapped protectively around her. It was just what she needed. "Yeah." Lux looked up at him and shook her head. "No."

Bug nestled his head on top of Lux's and held her tighter. He knew she was craving comfort. There were no words that would make her feel better right now.

"I mean, I want Cate and Baze to be together. I know Cate's married to Ryan, but I can't help the way I feel," Lux explained.

Bug nodded and smiled sympathetically.

"You should've seen the look on Baze's face when I told him what I did," Lux said.

"He's not mad. He's hurt," Bug said.

"I know. And it's all my fault," Lux muttered.

"He's not just hurt because he lost Cate." Bug looked into Lux's glittering blue eyes. "He's hurt because he feels unwanted by you. It's not just Cate that wanted to be with Ryan. _You_ wanted Ryan." Bug shook his head. "You and I, we know better than anyone how bad that feels."

"What do I do?" Lux asked.

"He just needs to know you want him," Bug replied.

Lux nodded. Her phone beeped and she glanced down at it.

"Who is it?" Bug wondered.

Lux bit her lip. She and Bug had been in such a good place lately. She didn't want to ruin it by telling Bug it was Jones. She also didn't want to lie to him. "Jones, he, uh, was just inviting me to a party tonight."

Bug clenched his jaw.

"I'm not gonna go," Lux added quickly.

Lux frowned when she and Bug descended the stairs into Open Bar. Andi was sitting at the bar nursing a beer. It felt like Andi had been ever-present.

"You know her?" Bug asked quietly.

"That's Andi," Lux replied. She said _Andi_ as though it were a grave insult.

Bug frowned. Lux was glaring frosty daggers at the pretty blonde. "I'm working tonight. You should go to the party." He knew Lux hanging out at the bar with Andi all night was a bad idea. It would put Lux in an even worse mood.

Lux frowned. "Are you sure?"

Bug forced himself to smile for Lux's sake. "Yeah." He kissed her lightly.

* * *

Baze refilled Andi's drink. "My own kid chose Cate's fiancé over me."

"I thought the bartender was supposed to listen to his customers' problems, not the other way around," Andi teased.

"You're not a paying customer," Baze reminded Andi.

"Hey, I waited a whole two hours to start drinking so I could drive you to pick Lux up. That's worth a few free drinks," Andi said lightly.

Baze raised his eyebrows. "A few? I think you've had an entire keg by yourself."

Andi laughed. "OK, I guess I can listen to your problems. Cate must be Lux's mom?"

Baze nodded.

"How did Lux choose Cate's fiancé over you?" Andi asked.

Baze's forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"Is he Mormon? Is he planning on having two wives? Cate and Lux?" Andi smirked.

Baze frowned. "No. Ryan, that's Cate's fiancé, he was willing to postpone the wedding and Cate, she didn't know what to do. Lux told her she should marry Ryan." Baze raked a hand through his hair.

Andi stared at Baze. "Lux is sixteen! If Cate only married Ryan because Lux told her to-"

"That's not the point," Baze interrupted. "The point is Lux chose Ryan. Over me."

"Lux loves you," Andi said.

"Yeah, she just loves Ryan more," Baze muttered.

* * *

"Hey." Jones flashed Lux a perfect smile. "I'm glad you came."

Lux returned the smile. "Me too. Thanks for inviting me."

"Want a beer?" Jones asked.

"Yeah," Lux replied. She smiled when Jones handed her a red plastic cup and took a drink.

Lux just wanted to forget about the wedding and everything that had happened after the wedding.

"Hey, you guys in for beer pong?" Brian asked as he refilled his cup.

Jones looked at Lux.

Lux nodded.

Jones grinned and led the way to the beer pong table. The first game was close, but Lux and Jones won. Jones hugged Lux. "We make a great team," he said enthusiastically.

Lux shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah."

They lost the next game. Lux felt buzzed as she drained the last of the cups the ping pong ball had landed in. She bumped into the table as she turned. Jones put his arm around her waist to steady her. "You OK?" He asked gently.

Lux turned to face him. He was frowning in concern, his eyes wide as he met her gaze. He was so sweet to her. It was hard not to like him. Almost impossible.

"Yeah," Lux replied, breaking away from his grip. She couldn't be this close to him. She couldn't be having feelings for him. Not when she was with Bug.

Bug had always been there for her. He'd changed. For her. He'd stopped stealing car stereos and selling weed. He was working so hard, Lux knew. How could she be having feelings for another guy? A guy who wasn't her boyfriend.

"You sure?" Jones asked, his ocean blue eyes boring into hers.

Lux looked away. "Yeah, I just, uh, need to go to the bathroom."

Jones frowned as he watched Lux make her way to the restroom down the hallway, her small frame weaving. She bumped into the wall. She rubbed her arm, knowing she would have a bruise the next day.

Lux breathed a sigh of relief when she finally made it to the bathroom. She locked the door before sinking down on the tile floor. She was drunk. She didn't know how she was going to get home. She couldn't stay at Jones' house. That was asking for trouble.

Who was she kidding? She was already in way over her head. She loved Bug, but she felt something for Jones. She would never admit it aloud, but she knew in her heart that she had feelings for Jones.

Why else would she have gotten jealous and gone off on him when she walked in on him making out with another girl? The jealousy meant something. It meant she had feelings for more than one person, Lux knew.

Lux remembered Cate telling her it was OK to have feelings for more than one person after she'd told Cate that Jones kissed her. She knew it wasn't OK despite what Cate had said. She'd seen first-hand what Cate having feelings for both Ryan and Baze had done to Baze. She didn't want to hurt Bug or Jones. They deserved better.

Jones knocked lightly on the door. "Lux? You OK?"

Lux sighed. How could she _not_ have feelings for Jones? He was always there for her. He'd been there for her when Bug left. He'd even been there for her when Bug came back. She opened the door and smiled slightly. "Yeah."

"You're trashed," Jones said, doing his best to make sure Lux didn't bump into any more walls as they returned to the party.

"I'm a lightweight," Lux replied.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Jones said.

"Just that I don't know how I'm going to get home," Lux said.

"I'll give you a ride," Jones offered. He grabbed his keys and guided Lux to his Jeep.

"You've been drinking," Lux said uncertainly.

"Yeah, but I'm not a lightweight." Jones grinned as he helped Lux into the passenger seat.

Lux made a face at him and he laughed. "Are you staying at your mom's or your dad's?"

"Baze's," Lux replied. "Cate's on her honeymoon."

Jones hesitated. "Your dad, he seemed pretty pissed when you had that party. Will he be mad that you've been partying?"

"No." Lux shook her head. "He's…preoccupied."

"With what?" Jones asked as he started driving.

"Andi," Lux muttered.

"New girlfriend?" Jones hazarded a guess.

"No." Lux wrinkled her nose. Andi wasn't Baze's girlfriend. She couldn't be Baze's girlfriend. He was in love with Cate. "More like a one-night-stand that won't leave."

"Ah," Jones said. "And you don't like her?"

"No!" Lux replied emphatically.

"Why not?" Jones asked.

Lux struggled to come up with a reason that didn't make her sound immature and childish. She came up with nothing. Andi had been nothing but nice to her, Lux realized. "She's not Cate," Lux said quietly.

"Other than that, is she chill?" Jones smirked.

Lux tried not to smile. She shrugged.

Jones pulled up in front of Open Bar. He turned the Jeep off.

"What are you doing?" Lux asked. She did _not_ want Jones to walk her in. Bug may have told her to go to the party, but she knew he wouldn't be OK with her coming back with Jones.

"Walking you in," Jones replied.

"That's OK. You don't have to," Lux said quickly. She hopped down from the Jeep and immediately tripped over the curb.

Jones smiled slightly as he caught her before she fell to the ground. "You were saying?"

Jones draped his arm over Lux's shoulders casually and steered her into Baze's bar. They were almost to the stairs when Bug spotted them.

"What the hell?" Bug muttered angrily. He was in front of Jones, blocking his path to the stairs, in two quick strides. "I told you to stay away from my girl!"

"Hey, I'm just walking her in," Jones said defensively.

"Bug," Lux warned.

Bug shoved Jones back, away from Lux. "Thanks, Bug said sarcastically, "but I've got her from here."

Jones hesitated. He held up his hands in defeat.

Bug pulled Lux up the stairs to Baze's loft. "How much did you drink?"

Lux shrugged. "A lot."

"Did you do anything with Abercrombie?" Bug demanded.

"No. We played beer pong. He drove me home. That's it," Lux reassured Bug.

Bug still looked ready for a fight, but he nodded. Last time he'd acted like this, Lux had told him he was acting just like his dad. He did not want to be that guy with her. She was right. She deserved better. And he was determined to give her better.

* * *

Lux had just changed into pajamas when Andi poked her head through the shower curtain that separated her room from Baze's living room.

Lux glared at Andi. "What?" She practically spat out.

"I just wanted to see if you were OK," Andi said tentatively.

"You're sleeping with my dad, OK? That doesn't mean you have to play house," Lux said angrly.

Andi smirked. She set a glass of water and two Advil down on Lux's nightstand. "These will help."

"What are you laughing at?" Lux demanded. She stared at the pills. She knew Andi was right. She'd lived with enough alcoholics while in foster care to know aspirin made hangovers a little less painful. Still, she contemplated not taking the Advil. She didn't want to take anything from Andi.

"Nothing," Andi replied, turning to leave.

"It's not nothing if you're laughing," Lux muttered.

Andi turned back to face her. "I'm laughing because the last thing I want to do is _play house_. I was just trying to be nice." Lux didn't know Andi at all, but anyone who did knew Andi was not ready to settle down. Andi liked to go out and have fun. Playing house sounded awful.

"What do you want?" Lux asked.

"I just want to have fun," Andi said truthfully. "What do you want?"

"I don't know," Lux admitted. "I've been with my boyfriend, Bug, for a couple of years. I-" Lux stopped suddenly. She needed to talk to someone, but she did _not_ want to talk to Andi. She was not going to tell Andi that she had feelings for Bug and Jones. Andi was the last person she wanted to talk to.

Andi stared at Lux expectantly. "You...?"

"I don't want to talk," Lux snapped. "Not to you."

Andi shrugged and got up to leave.

Lux watched Andi walk away in surprise. She'd expected Andi to try to make her talk. Andi hadn't even argued.

Lux swallowed the pills and curled up in her bed. For reasons she couldn't fathom, she felt slightly annoyed that Andi had just left.


	6. The Truth Hurts

Lux squinted as she opened her eyes. Sunlight was flooding through the window. She rubbed her stomach, which was upset from the beer she'd drank the night before.

Lux rolled over and closed her eyes, wanting to go back to sleep. After a few minutes, she knew there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep until she settled her stomach.

Lux frowned when she saw Andi in the kitchen, but continued to the refrigerator to get a Ginger Ale.

Lux leaned against the counter and watched Andi move around. She wondered if Andi had told Baze that she'd come home drunk. That Bug had lost his temper and shoved Jones.

Of course Andi had told, Lux thought. Why wouldn't she? Lux hadn't exactly been nice to her. Andi probably could hardly wait to run tell Baze what had happened.

Lux didn't think Baze would be angry with her, but she hated that he might be disappointed in her. She'd almost prefer anger. She'd faced angry foster parents plenty of times. It felt worse to disappoint someone she loved. Much worse. She actually cared what Baze thought about her.

Baze and Cate had adopted her. They'd finally wanted her. They were officially a family. Lux felt like all she'd done since the adoption was disappoint her parents. Lux wondered if Baze and Cate would regret adopting her. She'd given them plenty of reasons to.

Cate's wedding had been a disaster. Lux knew she'd been one of the key players in the day's events. She'd single-handedly convinced her mother to marry the wrong guy. Now her dad felt like she didn't want him, which couldn't be further from the truth. As if that wasn't bad enough, she'd borrowed Cate's car. Only she hadn't gotten permission, so technically she'd stolen it. The last thing Lux needed right now was for Baze to know that on top of everything else, she'd come home drunk.

Andi noticed Lux staring and met her gaze. "Do you want something?"

"I didn't know I had to want something to be in _my_ kitchen," Lux retorted, glaring at Andi.

Andi rolled her eyes. "You don't. Don't worry. I'll be out of _your_ kitchen in just a few minutes."

Lux hesitated. "Did you tell Baze?" Her voice came out a barely audible whisper.

"What?" Andi asked.

Lux frowned, annoyed. "Did you tell Baze? You know, about last night?"

"That you were wasted?" Andi smirked. "What, am I in second grade? No, I didn't tell on you."

"Thank you," Lux mumbled.

"You are very welcome," Andi said, her tone slightly sarcastic.

Lux watched Andi cook. Whatever she was making smelled delicious. Andi set a plate of pancakes on the counter and scanned the refrigerator for whipped cream and syrup.

Lux eyed the pancakes greedily. "Are those chocolate chip?"

"Yeah," Andi replied. "Help yourself."

Lux hesitated. As good as chocolate chip pancakes sounded, she did _not_ want to take anything from Andi. "No. I'm good."

"Suit yourself." Andi shrugged as she arranged everything on a tray.

"You need to eat something to soak up the alcohol in your stomach," Andi called over her shoulder as she carried the tray toward Baze's room.

Lux glared at Andi's retreating back.

Baze grinned when Andi entered his room with breakfast. He shifted so he was sitting upright in his bed. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"You plied me with alcohol." Andi smiled slightly as she joined Baze in bed. "As long as you keep the drinks flowing, I will be your chauffer, shrink, chef…whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" Baze grinned mischievously. He kissed Andi. She tasted sweet from the whipped cream.

* * *

"Hey Kiddo." Baze grinned when Lux emerged from her bedroom.

Lux had gone back to bed after forcing down two slices of toast. The dry bread had tasted like cardboard. It didn't help that she knew Baze and Andi were enjoying chocolate chip pancakes in the other room.

Lux surveyed the living room. There was no sign of Andi. "Hey. Where's Andi?"

Baze frowned. "At home."

Lux raised her eyebrows. "She's not moving in?" She asked sarcastically.

"No." Baze studied Lux. "You know, you didn't want me dating Abby either."

"She's Cate's sister!" Lux pointed out.

"Andi's not Cate's sister and you don't want me hanging out with her," Baze said. His ocean blue eyes bored into Lux's. "You haven't liked anyone I've been with."

"I like Cate," Lux said, her voice small.

Baze sighed. "Cate's married to Ryan." Saying it aloud made it seem even more real to him. Not that it wasn't already real. The woman he was in love with was married to someone else. It felt like he'd just lost the big game, but at least in football there was always another game, a new season. Baze wouldn't have another chance with Cate. Marriage was forever. It didn't get any more real that that.

"I know," Lux said. She sounded defeated.

"You told Cate she should marry Ryan," Baze reminded Lux. He wasn't trying to rub it in. He was just trying to understand. He didn't understand why Lux was so opposed to him dating Andi. She'd never given Cate any flak for being with Ryan. Baze looked hurt and confused.

Lux's expression softened. She knew she wasn't being fair. Not to Andi and definitely not to Baze. She had told Cate to marry Ryan. As much as she wanted Cate and Baze to be together, she'd made sure that couldn't happen. She would have to deal with the consequences.

"I didn't want her to be with Ryan. I _always_ wanted her to be with you. I just, I didn't think that was going to happen." Lux's eyes filled with tears. She looked up at Baze. "You didn't tell her how you felt. I thought she was either going to be bitter and alone or happy with Ryan. I just, I wanted her to be happy."

"That's all I want, too," Baze said.

Lux held Baze's gaze. "I want you to be happy, too. I love you guys." She smiled slightly.

Baze wrapped his arms around Lux, hugging her close. She leaned her head on his shoulder. Both of them needed the reassurance, the comfort the hug provided.

"I love you, too, Kiddo," Baze murmured.

"Does Andi make you happy?" Lux asked. She had a feeling she wouldn't like the answer, but she really did want Baze to be happy. Even if it meant more Andi.

"What I feel for Andi, it's nothing like what I feel for Cate. Nothing is. But Andi, she gets my mind off Cate, you know. Kinda like how you never liked Jones the way you like Bug, but when Bug left, Jones cheered you up," Baze tried to explain.

Lux looked down. No one knew that she did have feelings for Jones. No one _could_ know.

As much as she needed to talk to someone, there was no one she could talk to. Not about this. Cate wasn't the best person to go to for advice about having feelings for more than one guy, Lux thought ruefully. Lux knew Tasha would be Team Bug because Tasha, Gavin, Lux and Bug had been a family.

Lux looked up. She forced herself to smile. "I get it."

Baze ruffled Lux's hair affectionately. "You think you can give Andi a chance?"

Lux pretended to think about it. "I guess it wouldn't kill me," she said after a moment.

Baze laughed.


End file.
